Jimmy and I have added a new little member to our family, our gorgeous yellow lab pup, Brinkley. We bought her on Easter and feel completely blessed to have such an amazing addition to our family. Jimmy left to head back to OU the day after Easter, so I have been left to raise this fast-growing puppy on my own; I'm not sure I knew what I was getting myself into.
At first, Brinkley was shy and loving. She wanted to be held, stroked, carried and loved on constantly. Less than a week later, my little puppy has matured into a brave little explorer, constantly testing the boundaries...and my patience.
God certainly has blessed us with Brinkley, and I know He is working in our lives through her. She has brought me a joy that I can't ever say I have felt before. My motherly instincts are in high-gear as I train and love on her, but I am quickly realizing how hard and trying it is to be a mother.
Yesterday was the hardest day yet. Brinkley came out of no where and bit my arm and it took me by such surprise and shock that I accidentally pushed her back - harder than I would have liked. My eyes immediately welled with tears when I realized that I had shown my baby anger and disappointment in a physical manner. I figured it was pent up energy that was causing her to act out in such a way, so I immediately leashed her up and took her for our routine morning walk. It was so nice to walk Jacob to school and talk about his future, what he is learning about and what he looks forward to at school. All the while, my adorable pup followed close behind. When we returned home, she played with her toys awhile and quickly fell asleep. It was so cute to watch her sleep and I was incredibly relieved that this long walk tired her out so much that she slept through her first big storm. We did have to run in the rain a few times to go potty, but she learned how dry and warm the inside of the house can be. Hopefully, this caused her to appreciate not having to live outside.
But, her cute behavior quickly faded when she woke up. She spent the rest of the day and into the night biting on my fingers, legs, ankles, shirt, pants and everything she could find. She even wandered upstairs to have a little tinkle - in my room. I was so disappointed with her downward spiral of behavior that I felt anger, again, and immense frustration. Why was she acting this way? Where did I go wrong? How do I train her correctly?
So, I did what any good mother would do - I prayed. I prayed hard. I prayed last night for patience that could not be supplied by me alone. I prayed that my heart would fill with love for her and understanding that she is not doing these bad things to punish me. I prayed that God would prepare me for another day of being a mother, friend and owner.
When I woke up today, it was a new day. As always, Brinkley and I were up early enough to welcome the sunrise. It was unfortunate that the clouds covered the sun from shining in, and we saw the impending rain storms and decided an early morning run was necessary. We ran all around our neighborhood and she was fantastic. She did her business outside like I asked, and responded well to all commands. While we played, she listened and stayed close. I can tell she loves being around me, even if I'm just playing on the computer or sitting on the couch. My presence reassures her and makes her feel loved and safe. We spent our first one on one time together this morning, and my prayers were answered. She was fabulous. Yes, she bit me a few times. Yes, she was rambunctious and a little bit rough. But she listened when asked. She sat when told. She licked and loved when the opportunity was available. And now, as I sit here in the solitude of silence with a much needed Starbucks in front of me, I thank God for the silence and obedience of my sleeping dog. I thank Him for the patience that has taken over my heart and the love that I feel for her. God is good, all the time.
Sleep now, my little Brinkley, and enjoy these moments of peace as well. Know that even though you can make Mommy a little frustrated, no one loves you like I do.
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